As part of our continued Trying To Conceive series, we spoke to the author of Messy Stains & Growing Pains about her experiences during a crucial time.
So, “trying to conceive” – Yeah, that’s different isn’t it.
We didn’t have to try for Smushy. We intended to have him after the wedding we were planning, but clearly he had other ideas. Not that we are complaining, he was the best surprise ever. I was 5 months gone before I even knew he was there (yes, its crazy I know, but true, you can read about it on my blog).
So now we’re planning our second one. We would love Smushy to have a brother or sister. He’s fantastic around other children and he never giggles more than when he’s with his cousin. Not only that, being the oldest of seven myself, I’ve always known I wanted a big family. We have spoken about when would be best, what month would be nice for a birthday, what month has least birthdays in it already (where there rest of our family are concerned) and then we set a date to start trying.
Over the last week, we have officially started ‘trying’ for our second baby. At the moment its all secret. As much as I want to share this blog with you, I’m a little dubious about doing so. For a start, I’ve worked for some pretty awful bosses in the past and I don’t want anything to jeopardise my job. Secondly, if we struggle or it takes a long time or if something goes wrong, I don’t really want the added pressure from people keep asking the same questions.
So the main reason I’m writing this blog is because the whole situation is completely alien to me. My nieces and nephews were not planned, neither was my god-daughter. Thats not to say they aren’t all very much loved and cared for by their parents. What I mean is, I’ve never spoken about the whole planning and trying process with anyone, because there’s nobody that has had a child on purpose that I am that close to.
There are questions I want to be able to casually ask over a cup of tea with friends, questions like when did you start taking folic acid? If indeed you even bothered before hand. Did you chart anything? Did you bother with ovulation kits e.t.c? How did you decide on an age gap? Is that age gap you’ve agreed on going to be right? And did you do that thing where you put your legs in the air after sex? OMG I said sex in a blog post.
Well, I guess if I’m going to write about all this, sex will probably be mentioned.
I had a look at some online forums a couple of days ago and I was bombarded with jargon. TTC? Yeah, I got that one, but BD? or BD-ing? I had to look that up. I’ve never heard as sex being referred to as the ‘Baby Dance’
I have started eating healthier, cut down on my salt & caffeine intake, and try to walk for an hour a day, as well as cycling to and from work. I have been taking my folic acid like a good girl, and I have an app on my phone that tracks my period, so I can judge when conception is going to be most likely so I think I’m doing everything right. And this is why I wanted to share this journey with you. Its all so new and I’m a little bit lost. All I know is, we want another baby, we don’t want it to become a chore and take the fun out of ‘BD-ing’.
I don’t want to start charting my cycles and being obsessive, but I would like to experience the whole journey this time, the entire pregnancy, from conception to birth (and of course beyond). Not only that, those of you that regularly take the time to read my blog and make it what it is, I’d like to share it with you too.
So, If you’re reading this, I’ve decided to be brave and post it. I hope you enjoy sharing this experience with us and welcome aboard!